I See Dead People

Having just spent this entire week helping my ex-husband and his family deal with the handling of funeral arrangements (my father-in-law died Christmas Eve) I have to say I'm taken aback at the whole business and practical side of death. Cremation? Or Traditional Burial?

What started out as plans for a simple funeral soon turned into a staggering bill, once the $3,600 mahogany casket was chosen by all his siblings, along with the funeral home costs which included the embalming - making my father-in-law look like some kind of horrible blood-drained wax creature, kind of frightening to his grandchildren to say the least.

He already had a burial plot, apparently my parents' generation took care of these kind of things as almost a rite of passage once they hit middle age.

Me, I can't fathom buying a plot for myself. Not because I think I'm immortal - but because yesterday as we gathered around the burial site at the cemetery and I looked out over the acres and acres of headstones surrounding us, I couldn't help but wonder how much longer this small world can possibly provide the land needed for cemeteries. It almost seems like an extravagance in itself, traditional burials, that is - in this day and age.

I want to say "Cremate Me, Please"...but what holds me back? The fear of fire, the thought of my body being incinerated to dust and ashes? But really, how much better is it to end up being artificially "preserved" in the grotesque way my father-in-law now is?